From: at-banff (14/8/98)

People at Banff,

In an effort to control the burgeoning debt, the Banff Centre forthwith
shall incorporate a "pay for positively program" (PPP); not to be confused
with CPP which does have some miniscule chance of yielding a benefit at
some time.

Under PPP  Provisions (PPPP), employees will retain pay for showing
positive, progressive attitudes toward their superiors as follows:

Blind faith in leadership: $200
Acquiesce to decisions: $100
Serve refreshments in meetings: $50
Smile and nod in staff meetings: One month's salary.

Under no circumstances will anyone receive more pay than a start two week
cheque, although continued exhibitions of positively will be rewarded much
as they always have. - from The Senior Administrator.